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Top collection Funny New Year Messages and SMS for You

Top collection Funny New Year Messages and SMS, Wishes for You – New year funny quotes, funny happy new year quotes, Funny New Year’s Greetings, Funny New Year Wishes and download free Funny New Year cards, photo and pictures for holidays. More: Top 300 New year messages and Happy New Year SMS

Funny New Year Messages 1

It’s New Year’s Eve!
Time for fireworks and treats
Just be careful though,
Be safe or you’ll lose a finger or two.
Have a wonderful new year!

A glass of water
A bottle of beer
Let’s get ready
And start the New Year’s party!

I promise not to drink beer anymore,
But since it’s not yet the eve, can I have a bottle more?
Happy New Year, dear!

They say pain and tears help one to be stronger,
So I am wishing you more tears and pain.
For you to become even stronger than last year.
Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you!
May you complete all your new year’s resolutions.

It’s New Year!
So you can legally drink as much as you want.
Just don’t drive, be safe and have fun!

My New Year’s Resolution:
Greet all those people who made me crazy this year!
You are one of them.
Don’t get me wrong, you just made my life worth living.
Happy New Year!

Funny New Year Messages 2

It’s New Year’s Day once again,
Time to make resolutions and promises again.
I’m just hoping that after all the writin’
The resolutions won’t be in vain.

This year,
Less complaining, more blessings
Less keeping, more sharing
Have a meaningful and blessed New Year ahead!

Some people don’t like New Year that much.
Because they have to make resolutions they will break a week after.
Happy New Year!

Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.
~ Bill Vaughan

New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
~ James Agate

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.
~ Brooks Atkinson

New Year’s Day now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
~ Mark Twain

Funny New Year Messages 3

Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle. – Eric Zorn

New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions. -Mark Twain

Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to. -Bill Vaughan

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions! -Joey Adams

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals? -Ogden Nash

New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. -James Agate

New Year’s Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive. -Jay Leno

The only way to spend New Year’s Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears. -Wystan Hugh (W.H.) Auden

Stir the eggnog, lift the toddy, Happy New Year, everybody. -Phyllis McGinley

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to. -P.J. ORourke

Funny New Year Messages Card

“Take care how you meet and greet with people this New Year since broken spirits have no available spare parts!”

“This New Year I’m on a look out for a bank that would give me a big loan and then forget me forever. “
“I envy the mosquitoes since they can spend the midnight hour with you and kiss you as the clock strikes New Year.”

“This New Year, may you handle yourself with your brains, but comfort others with your heart.”
“This New Year, may you be Saved by many friends who Enter your life to Delete all your Errors.”

“After making careful judgment, a brand New Year contract has been drafted for you – make sure to take full responsibility before you leap in.”

“New Year Resolution: tolerate friends and family with extreme care even when they burn down your privacy!”

“New Year gives you the option all over to again to view the glass in either perspective – half full or half empty.”

“Wish New Year was every man’s birthday when people can wipe out all the unwanted and start afresh.”

“May this New Year be so prosperous that you always extend your hand to greet friends and never to ask for aid.”

“May the New Year give you a clean chit to keep you far away from misers and doctors.”

“May your New Year show you the shapeliest reflection in the mirror – so jog to the gym every day!”

“Deck up for the New Year in a brand new avatar so that you become neighbors’ envy and owner’s pride.

“I pledge that I shall not spend my New Year’s Day glues to my computers in my pajamas – I plan to dress up for my computer!”

“This New Year, be at peace with your appearance, you are perfectly in shape – round is a shape in geometry!” Funny New Year Messages

Funny New Year Wishes

We all love a light joke, every now and then. Following are some one liners which you can use to wish your friends a Happy New Year.

May god motivate you to indulge less in office gossips this year!

I wish you can evade your boss successfully while using instant messengers at workplace this year!

I wish you scare off everyone in your wonderful Halloween attire in the New Year!

I wish you end up fighting less with your partner over TV remote this New Year!

I wish you can maintain your resolution to quit smoking a few days more this new year!

I wish you finally learn how to use your Smartphone properly this New Year.

May god inspire you to finally enroll in that anger management course in New Year!

I wish you find a perfume this year that is less awe-inspiring than chocolate flavored EDT!

I pray sincerely no sequel is released in your favorite vampire romance this year!

I wish you end up without a funny face in group photos this year.

Funny New Year SMS

“As people remind you to make resolution about self assessment and correction, give the same time and dedication to your house too!”

“May this New Year bring actual change in you – not recurrence of old habits in a new package.”

“If nothing changes this New Year to your liking, just change your habit of complaining!”

“This New Year may you come up with innovative excuses for your teacher or boss when you plan to bunk your class or office.”

“As the clock strikes twelve, may you have the stamina to wish all of your innumerous Facebook Friends a Happy New Year.”

“This New Year, may you make the attempt to trim and clean your Social Media accounts.”

“I saved you from spending a fortune on a New Year’s party – I sent you an invitation for an online party!”

“May you find more time to help out the ignored and unattended people this New Year – and begin your charity at home – with your spouse.”

“This New Year may you come up with innovative passwords to puzzle people to fish out the real one!”

“This New Year, remember to chuck all the old jokes and same stories to narrate at parties!“

“May you spend lesser time online this New Year and more with the real people who fill up your real world.”

“This New Year may you find innumerable ways to make health food as tasty as the junk!”

“If you are planning to turn a new leaf over this New Year, make sure the leaf is free of bugs.”

“This New Year hope you are not tempted to pile up on health food cook books and then end up heating frozen food at meal times.”

“Hope you are blessed with intelligence to differentiate between ending of one year and the beginning of the next.”

“This New Year may you have newer ideas to accommodate more time for your naps and beauty sleep even on weekdays.”

“May the New Year be like a trip inside Santa’s gift bag that is well stocked with all that you have been eyeing since Black Friday sale.”

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